2003 MINI Cooper S, a brilliant pocket rocket
I think the most recent generation of MINIs, the ones solely produced by BMW are great! I truly do! The 3rd gen F56 hardtop model is striking to look at, fun to drive, jam-packed with great technology, reliable, you can still get them in manual form, and they're really quite affordable.
But it just lacks- something. Something the first generation had.
Back in 2000, the very last classic Mini rolled off the production line. It looked just like the first Mini that rolled off the very same line, and it had always been an absolute legend. It utilized space like no other car, it won rally championships, it was affordable, it was (mostly) reliable; it was the car of the people for the better part of 40 odd years. But, British Leyland and Rover collapsed when the 21st century rolled around, and soon BMW had bought out rights to the Mini name. They changed it to be all caps. MINI. And in 2001 they revealed the all new MINI Cooper.
At first sight, most thought it was far too large to be considered a Mini. But it wasn't an Austin Mini anymore, it was the MINI Cooper, with MINI being the brand, not the model. Besides the size issue, it was received well. People thought it was still fun to drive and still felt like a MINI. It was obviously larger, but it was still plenty small. Most cars on the road today are double the size. What really took the world by storm, however, was the Cooper S.
It featured a massive hood scoop feeding air to the SUPERCHARGER that gave the little rocket 60 more horsepowers! It also had a 6-speed instead of a measly 5, and two beer can-shaped exhaust pipes in the middle. Along with a small rear spoiler, a very cool chrome gas cap, and cool S side badging, the Cooper S was the model that put the new BMW MINIs on the map. In 2002, the new MINI was brought to America, and when The Italian Job released the following year, sales for MINI USA jumped up over 50%.
Why review a car that's almost 20 years old, you ask?
Geoff, the day I received him.
Well, I own one. And I've called it Geoff. Pronounced “Jee-Off”. It only cost me $5,700. I'm here to review it because I've lived with it for more than a year now, and I think it's one of the best cars humanity has ever produced. That may sound a little insane putting this car up there with the likes of the Mercedes 300 SL and the McLaren F1, but trust me, this car will captivate you, and you will learn to love every second in it.
The specs are nothing to go insane over. It hits 60 in a little more than 7 seconds, 163 supercharged horsepowers from a dual-overhead camshaft 1.6 4 cyl engine (which sounds absolutely amazing by the way), and a claimed top speed of 138 miles per hour. It only weighs 2600 lbs, so it can be chucked into any corner without thought, and it'll just go round. It's pretty economical, I've been averaging in the high 20s, 25-28 mpg with normal driving and highway 30+. Torque is not something you'll ever feel putting your foot down in this car. There is only 155 lb-ft of it, but it still gets up and goes (provided the A/C is not on). It never throws you back into your seat like a modern performance car, but the noise it makes is just so much fun: The revs climb and suddenly you hear this distinct whine from the supercharger as the exhaust just keeps getting louder and louder until you finally hit the nearly 7000 RPM redline, which is quite impressive for this car. Then, before you know it, you STILL haven't reached the speed limit, which is a FEATURE in my opinion. To get going even with normal driving, you HAVE to rev the thing out, which is just SUCH a blast. And to keep the speed, you have to go fast in corners, which is a blast as well. The little thing just sticks to the road, and I'm driving with shitty all-seasons from 2016 here.
The steering is razor sharp. It's insane how accurate it is. It has hydraulic power steering, but the pump itself is electric, making repairs easier when it breaks, which it is known to do. On the highway, any slight input is translated and it makes it super, super easy to know where the wheels are. Staying in your lane is very easy too. Since the thing is so damn short and small, you just have so much room. Not to mention, parking is SUCH a breeze!! Simply look in the mirror at the rear wheels when backing in and remember that wherever the wheel is, so is the bumper. Not like you really need to back in all that much though, since it's a third the length of any normal car, and therefore very easily fits into the modern American parking space.
Everything is easier in this car: drive thru's, car washes- just driving in general. My car has a dual-mass flywheel (DMF), making the clutch lighter than usual, but when I had the stock flywheel and clutch setup, it had a very communicative, stiff pedal feel that made it the best manual transmission I've ever driven. Modern manual transmissions lack communication; they have no pedal feel and the breaking point is just a guessing game. But Geoff, his breaking point makes itself known. Even with the new clutch, it still feels razor sharp. The gear knob is bloody massive too, and the 6-speed is very tight and the shifter is in the perfect place where it is so easy to operate. The whole driving position makes you feel like you're in a go-kart, but you would've already gathered that from the way it drives. I realise this review could be a bit biased, but I can assure you the first time I ever drove a Cooper S, I had nothing but these same exact thoughts. Ownership has obviously given me a lot of time to form a great load of favoritism; every aspect of this car has captured me whole. It's the first car I've truly fell for, and I love it to bits. Let me share some interesting facts about it, and explain in great detail what makes me love it so much.
What I find super interesting about this car is the people behind it. Frank Stephenson designed the thing, and that is saying a lot considering he designed the McLaren P1, MP4-12C, Ferrari 458, and the beloved modern Fiat 500, just to name a few. The man has one hell of a portfolio. The brilliant W11 supercharged engine was developed by Americans at Chrysler, built by Brazilians, while the rest of the car was jointly engineered by what was left of Rover at the time, and the new buyers, BMW. All of it was assembled across two plants, one in Oxford and the other in Swindon, both in the UK. The same factories the classic Minis came out of, and the same factories that new MINIs now come out of.
The R53 (designation for first generation Cooper S), is the only MINI to have a supercharger lobbed on, along with its convertible Cooper S counterpart, the R52. The 2nd generation from 2007-2013 and the current F56 hardtop both have turbochargers, which make them fun to drive, yes, but certainly not unique. How many other 4-cylinder hatchbacks have a fricken supercharger!? I'll be honest, it's not the largest of superchargers, but it makes the most hilarious little whine. The exhaust sounds pretty damn good out of the factory, too, but it wasn't quite loud enough for me so I added a Milltek Cat-Back Exhaust System, for 2 main reasons: #1, I wanted my car to be louder, and #2, the stock exhaust had lost a muffler, since it (expectedly) rusted off. I should probably mention that these first generation MINIs are going on 20 years now, mine turned 19 years old this month, actually, and especially since mine has been a midwestern car, it is no stranger to rust. These cars drink oil and gas at the same rate, so it's very important to check your oil on every fill-up. Lots of things can and will go wrong.
Will. As in, if you buy a first generation MINI, things will, without a doubt, fail. My wheel bearing rusted and caused a horrible grinding noise, both front sway bars disconnected, the passenger door had started to rust out, the door lock actuator broke, the supercharger blowoff valve clogged, the brake pads reached extreme wear, the clutch started to slip, and both front axles died. The car was only 6 grand and only had 48k miles, but regardless, it all depends on how you treat it. I've gone well over 10k in total cost with all these problems. Although, I still think of it to be worth it since I have no intention of selling Geoff anytime soon.
People look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them my favorite car is my car. I am truly proud of myself for being able to keep this thing. Some people I show it to think I am extremely privileged, and some people don't realise how old or cheap it actually is, but I think that's part of what I love about it. Down the street from my aunt's house, there is a little MINI Cooper S, just like mine but in blue. It has been sadly abandoned. Everything is rusted, it's covered in bird shit, leaves, and dirt; no one has cared for it. It makes me infinitely sad to see it like that because if it was just maintained by someone who cared for it, it could have been saved. But, no one is coming to save it. The only thing stopping me is that I already have one MINI Cooper to take care of, and not enough money for both. It still makes me really sad to just see it sitting there, though- partly because I think of it like a pet. It was designed after a dog, and I love it like I'd love a dog. It's adorable, you spend way too much money on it, you can't live without it, and sometimes it's annoying and doesn't stop biting your feet, or in this case, your wallet. Around March of this year I had a ton of problems with Geoff, but now he's running great, and yes, it cost quite a bit to get him back to this position, but it makes me happy. It makes me happy to see my little dog all happy that he's healthy.
Geoff and some of his friends.
In short, I'd do anything for this car. It's my boy. I've always thought of cars as people instead of machines, and I'm sure that plays a large part in the way I treat my car. Geoff is the only car I've ever owned and I plan on keeping him forever. Sure, that might change, but for now, I'll keep driving around in my lil' Coop until the end of time.
