2023 MINI Countryman John Cooper Works - Even more epic fun!!
MINI is getting really good at making cars that look to be too expensive at first, but then turn out to be worth every single penny the second you start driving. Let me elaborate…
First of all, this car seems ludicrously expensive at first glance. This particular one was specced out to about $52k, which is an insane amount of money for a car making 302 horsepower and 335 lb-ft of torque… or so you think. Then, you realise a nice 330i will cost the same, but with 47 less horsepower. This Countryman has the same B48 2.0 L 4 cyl turbo found in tons of BMW and MINI models, but it’s slightly tweaked to make this pretty nutty power figure. I should also mention for people who don’t know much about MINIs, this John Cooper Works Countryman is at the top of the food chain. The Cooper and Cooper S variants of this same car are nowhere near this level of fun; they’re really just for people who couldn’t justify the pricetag of the JCW. This car is for insane people.
I quite like the way it looks. The JCW model has these awesome stripes everywhere, cool JCW badges, red brake calipers, and all blacked out trim pieces. I like the headlight shape, since it reminds you that it’s not a normal MINI, but it still feels like a MINI- a big MINI. Like it’s the responsible father of all the little MINIs. It fits right in (for me at least). It has all the classic MINI design features that we have all come to love, like that glorious uninterrupted clamshell bonnet. I truly do think they did a fantastic job with this car trying to make it larger but not look bloated, unlike the last generation Countryman, where the headlights and grille suggested it was a sad MINI. This new one looks far better, no complaints here for me (sorry old Countryman).
It comes with MINI’s All4 all-wheel drive system, which is really bloody good. Kind of feels like xDrive but the wrong way round, since the power is biased more towards the front. Either way, it makes the car feel much more balanced and causes it to understeer less than a regular MINI. That All4 system also helps rocket this big MINI to 60 mph in less than 5 seconds. This car is FAST! Not only fast, but it sounds PHENOMENAL! You get fantastic little pops and burbles in sport mode, and the valved exhaust system opens up and releases quite the growl indeed. I love the way this car sounds: super throaty and deep in the lower RPMs, but starts to get a little screamy towards the redline. Yes, there is piped in engine noise, yes, I wish it wasn’t there, but I’m honestly getting so used to it now that it doesn’t soften the experience any less.
Short-shifting this car under full load makes the most amazing of noises out the tailpipe. The farts you get when shifting under WOT at around 3500-4500 rpm are just glorious, it is truly a hoot to drive. MINIs are always cars that you need to go full throttle in to get maximum enjoyment, and even though this is actually a FAST one, you can still go full throttle almost everywhere and avoid most trouble. Don’t keep it planted for too long though, because this thing will just not stop pulling; it feels way quicker than it actually is. I don’t think most people will ever need any more power than this to be frank, since not once driving this car did I think I needed to be going any faster. Any more power and you wouldn’t be able to enjoy as many gears as they gave you. Speaking of which, the transmission is super snappy. Shifting on your own is so much fun since the paddles are pretty long and easy to reach at all times. And with a staggering 8 gears, you can achieve some pretty good fuel economy if you put it in green mode, but if you possess enough self-control to put it in green mode instead of sport, I’d like you to introduce me to your therapist.
The driving experience is quite great, but there is no getting around the fact that this Countryman is almost 800 pounds heavier than it’s normal JCW hardtop 2-door counterpart. 3,688 lbs is a lot of weight to chuck into a corner, even if it says MINI on the front. Despite this, the MINI hides its weight pretty damn good. Having driven the JCW Clubman which is much lower down and lighter, they don’t really feel much different. How is this possible? This car is quite literally on stilts. I’ll tell you how: Really Bumpy Suspension!
This car will give you a backache in about 30 minutes. The combination of quite stiff suspension and very sporty seats does not help when you’re trying to just chill out. The MINI loves having fun, which means you truly do feel every bump. It’s not terrible, and honestly I find this to be a common trait in most BMWs and MINIs, but it’s just a little too rough. Certainly not great for long comfortable rides, but good enough for joy rides. There is honestly no problem with this, but I just feel like there’s just something lacking in the ride quality department for the price. Can you put up with it? Yes. Is it a dealbreaker? No. You can always distract yourself from this fact by switching to sport mode and putting your foot down, but let’s be honest, you were probably doing that anyways.
Let’s talk feature set: It’s pretty good. The Countryman, unlike normal MINIs gets power seats! Adaptive cruise control! More legroom! Even a wireless charger and a convenient USB-C port! Thankfully, the awesome double moonroof is still here, too. Especially the power seats, which really cheapens the other MINIs in the lineup. What doesn’t cheapen this car is the cool pedals you get because it’s a JCW. I won’t go in depth on the other interior features, since they’re exactly the same as the last MINI I reviewed, the 4-door hardtop, which you can read here, but make sure to finish this review first!
The dashboard has this awesome red and piano black theme that is exclusive to the JCW trim and the ambient lighting is much brighter and is more prevalent than the 4-door hardtop. The biggest ‘feature’ of this interior is that everything is just bigger. It’s all the same bits and bobs from the other MINI, and they’re all the same size, it’s just that the space they’re in is larger. The steering wheel is still the same great shape we’re used to in all the other models, the super simple climate controls are nice to use but for some reason you can’t SYNC the two temperatures. Why was this not implemented? Surely they could’ve used one of the blank switches below the controls to add a sync function, right? This is so simple. It’s so annoying it’s not there and now I have to individually adjust them both every single time. Anyways, the air vents are not circles like in the smaller MINIs, they’re rectangular blobs, kind of like the headlights. Which is another reminder letting you know you’re not in a normal MINI, you’re in a Countryman.
There are some great John Cooper Works specific details in this interior I adore, starting with the little John Cooper Works logo on the bottom of the steering wheel. There’s another one at the top of the gauge cluster, too, and they added a little checkered flag by the redline. How cool is that! Details like this are always fun. I personally think they could’ve gone a little crazier though, why not some more checkered patterns in funky places? Maybe like some red seats or something wild. Either way, still a fun sporty interior that makes you happy. It’s a high quality interior: no rattles, no bad materials, everything feels up to standards for a $50k car.
The only real nitpick I have in here is the totally useless heads up display that is so dumb I forgot to properly picture it. Above the gauge cluster comes this slab of glass where the heads up display is projected. It’s a pretty large piece of glass just sitting there, which slightly hinders visibility while giving absolutley no relavant information. It just repeats all the information that is only an inch away on the awesome screen. It feels pointless to me and it takes up some space on the dash that could’ve just been clean. Thank god you can fold down this glass and not use it, because otherwise that would 100% be a dealbreaker for me. This is an option that you can uncheck, and please do because whatever they’re charging for it, it’s not worth it, that is for damn sure. Avoid this at all costs.
The biggest upside of the Countryman, and the reason it’s the most popular MINI to date, is the practicality. The rear seat legroom is massive! You don’t feel claustrophobic like in literally any other MINI with 4 doors. This really isn’t a huge surprise given the Countryman’s size, but you see the MINI badge and you don’t expect a rear seat as nice as this. A real human can fit in the middle, the rear doors aren’t comically small, and it’s got a nice large trunk, like a proper trunk. The seats can fold down if you need even more room, it has a roof rack, and they’ll sell you a big box to put on said roof rack if your MINI wants a little hat to wear. It’s practical as hell! It’s a real actual crossover. It does all of this while still feeling like a MINI, a small(er), nimble vehicle that uses space efficiently.
I find lots of people getting angry at the Countryman because they don’t see it as a “real MINI,” which I find puzzling. Look at it this way: the brand name MINI doesn’t just refer to the physical size of the car, but it refers to the personality of the car, how it drives, the go-kart feeling, the whole MINI lifestyle. The Countryman is on the smaller end of it’s segment, and it’s more fun to drive than all it’s competitors. I think we owe a lot of respect to the Countryman, because without it, MINI wouldn’t be making enough money to justify all of the super crazy and fun MINIs people love. And the John Cooper Works variant of this car shows that the Countryman isn’t just meant to be a cash cow, but a car that can also let it’s hair down and show the world it too is a proper MINI. I tell you, this car feels like a MINI on the road. It drives like a MINI should and it has the same cheerful personality that a MINI should have. Frankly, the only thing not MINI about the JCW Countryman (and frankly all MINIs these days), is the price tag. Which I will admit is fairly large, but if you’re willing to pay it, I guarantee you won’t regret it.
